I am a Teacher - Poem

I am a Teacher - Poem

I am a teacher at McDowell Intermediate.
I am a former owner of a strip club.
I flip houses for extra money.
I grade based on creativity,
not on knowledge.
I have pictures of hundreds of kids in my classroom,
they constantly stare at my working students
I give equal points on tests for questions
about Britney Spears' new show on E!
compared to questions about the president.
I insult my students
then cover it up by saying it was a joke.
I make my students write reports on the bible.
I spend more classes teaching the do-si-do
than I do on the battles of the revolution.
I get involved in my students romantic lives during class.
I think that if you don't agree with my points of view,
then you don't deserve equal time to express yours.
I bring knives to school,
and say its part of the curriculum.
I cut a student in class during a demonstration
of how blood was drained during the Revolutionary era.
I have been suspended for two weeks because of this.
I may have criminal charges pressed against me.
I have been replaced by a substitute who is a genuine teacher,
one that the students like and learn from.
I was hired by the school district,
and allowed to teach for over 15 years.

Tyler Durden
McDowell Student Council
http://mcdsc.darkbb.com