Funny stories

Just thought I'd lighten the mood... I'll start

Today being Halloween, I decided to fuck with the major retard at school when I came out of science for break. He was dressed as Ash. Knowing this was going to happen, I brough a Mudkips doll. Thus I started the conversation, making sure no one saw me.

"So I heard you like Mudkips..." "Mudkips? I LUUUUUUUUUUUUVE MUDKIPS." "O RLY? So, would you ever fuck a Mudkips, that is.." (he cuts me off before I could said 'if you were a mudkips') "OF COURSE." "Well I just happen to have a Mudkips here, and."

Before I finished the sentence, which would have resulted in me hitting him across the face with the doll, he grabbed it. In one swift motion his pants were down and he was violenly humping it. Not to get between a man and his Mudkips I started to walk away, because there is no way I'd be caught wrestling a half-naked crazy guy humping a Mudkips.

Needles to say, within 5 to 10 seconds, some girls saw him and started screaming. I cooly walked into a restroom, pretending nothing had ever happened; not that I had intended that outcome, but now that it was in play I didn't want to be involved.

I came back two minutes later, and like any wanton act on school grounds there was now a huge crowd round him. He was still fucking it and baying this real fucked up 'EEEEEEEEEEINNNNF EEEEEEEEEEINNNF' sound. Suddenly a scuffle broke out in the middle, meaning he probably did something stupid.

I asked someone what had happened. A girlfriend of one of the football players tried to get him to stop, but he bit her for trying to take it away. Someone called in a few football players (all dressed up like Road Warrior) who proceeded to pummel the shit out of the guy. Meanwhile the school police were freaking out and having trouble getting in to the situation.

A few minutes later the intruder alarm went off and we were shuffled into classrooms. Over the intercom the principal announced that someone had thrown a flaming plush toy into the library. Uh.. what the hell.

So we were kept there and about 30 minutes later the principal came on again. This time he was saying that whoever was behind the beating should turn themselves in. All of a sudden this woman began yelling "I WILL SUE YOU FOR DAMAGES. YOU LITTLE PUNKS, I'M GONNA SUE..." and it was cut off.

I asked an office later what had happened. Apparently his mother had come to pick him up and threatened to sue for the beating and 'whatever else happened.' The school threatened to counter-sue because of lewd conduct, inciting a riot, and starting a fight.

So I ask you: do you like Mudkips?

Yes.
Eye do leik mud kipz.

if anybody knows that story or its popularity, then u sir are a winrar and obtain one internet.

Yay!
+1 internet for muah.

here sir. have another. now post funny stories, either real at mcdowell or just random hilariosity, and I'll give you moar. I have over 9000 you know.

Hahaha, that made me laugh. You know though.


Yes, I do liek mudkipz

STORY TIME!!
So a priest, a shaman, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
It's my 8th birthday,
And there's not actually a shaman or a rabbi.
And the priest molested me.
And the priest is my father,
And he's not actually a priest at all.
My dad molested me.... a lot.


See, now wasn't that a funny story?

Tyler Durden wrote:

STORY TIME!!
So a priest, a shaman, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
It's my 8th birthday,
And there's not actually a shaman or a rabbi.
And the priest molested me.
And the priest is my father,
And he's not actually a priest at all.
My dad molested me.... a lot.


See, now wasn't that a funny story?

lol, so your saying you were at a bar, got drunk, and molested by your dad?

Almost.
I wasn't drunk,
I was only 8.
And the priest/my dad made me go to the bar.

interesting... Moar stories anyone?

Ninja wrote:

interesting... Moar stories anyone?

Moar.
People always want moar.

yes. much, much moar.

So I met this noob one day on an MMO
and he was just chillin' next to me while I was training
I happened to be using a female character.
He started to ask strange questions.
"How old are you? I'm 42."
"Are you a mom?" <---I was like o.O
"What's your name?"
-told him my SN, said my RLN didn't matter
"Do you want to be my friend?"
...
now at this point I had gathered that he was somewhat mentally unstable
and I didn't want to hurt his feelings because I thought he would do something bad to himself
but at the same time I REALLY didn't want to have to talk to this person any more than I had to
so I tried to get around the question by saying
"Well, friendship isn't really something you can make up on the spot. It has to grow on you."
So he replies: "Yes of course, I know that. ... Well? Are you my friend?"

(that was the punchline in case you missed it)

Locke wrote:

So I met this noob one day on an MMO
and he was just chillin' next to me while I was training
I happened to be using a female character.
He started to ask strange questions.
"How old are you? I'm 42."
"Are you a mom?" <---I was like o.O
"What's your name?"
-told him my SN, said my RLN didn't matter
"Do you want to be my friend?"
...
now at this point I had gathered that he was somewhat mentally unstable
and I didn't want to hurt his feelings because I thought he would do something bad to himself
but at the same time I REALLY didn't want to have to talk to this person any more than I had to
so I tried to get around the question by saying
"Well, friendship isn't really something you can make up on the spot. It has to grow on you."
So he replies: "Yes of course, I know that. ... Well? Are you my friend?"

(that was the punchline in case you missed it)

Lol, that's great.
And just so you know I didn't miss it.
people are just...interesting, for lack of a better word, to observe/listen to/converse with online.

wow... people you meet on the internet. epic lulz

Tyler Durden wrote:

Locke wrote:

So I met this noob one day on an MMO
and he was just chillin' next to me while I was training
I happened to be using a female character.
He started to ask strange questions.
"How old are you? I'm 42."
"Are you a mom?" <---I was like o.O
"What's your name?"
-told him my SN, said my RLN didn't matter
"Do you want to be my friend?"
...
now at this point I had gathered that he was somewhat mentally unstable
and I didn't want to hurt his feelings because I thought he would do something bad to himself
but at the same time I REALLY didn't want to have to talk to this person any more than I had to
so I tried to get around the question by saying
"Well, friendship isn't really something you can make up on the spot. It has to grow on you."
So he replies: "Yes of course, I know that. ... Well? Are you my friend?"

(that was the punchline in case you missed it)

Lol, that's great.
And just so you know I didn't miss it.
people are just...interesting, for lack of a better word, to observe/listen to/converse with online.

LOL NICE.
What MMO was this?

All right, you're gonna love this. So... Hang on a sec.
*looks around the entire building*
Okay, so these two black guys walk into a bar, and the bartender looks...
*Black guy appears from the back and says, "Hey, what are you guys talking about?"*
I was just telling a joke.
So, the bartender looks around and says:
"What'll you two fine gentlemen have?"
And they paid their tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

javabean wrote:

All right, you're gonna love this. So... Hang on a sec.
*looks around the entire building*
Okay, so these two black guys walk into a bar, and the bartender looks...
*Black guy appears from the back and says, "Hey, what are you guys talking about?"*
I was just telling a joke.
So, the bartender looks around and says:
"What'll you two fine gentlemen have?"
And they paid their tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

Family Guy FTFWB.
(No typo.)
For the freaking win bitches.

I'm afraid I dont get it... explanation plz?

Ninja wrote:

I'm afraid I dont get it... explanation plz?

I couldn't find a more decent video sorry.

Skip to 2:30.

Here is another joke lawl.

This one is a real doozy. So these *list every ethnic group and religion that is not white and christian here* walk into a bar and the bartender says GET THE FUCK OUT.

javabean wrote:

Here is another joke lawl.

This one is a real doozy. So these *list every ethnic group and religion that is not white and christian here* walk into a bar and the bartender says GET THE FUCK OUT.

WIN

Tyler Durden wrote:

javabean wrote:

Here is another joke lawl.

This one is a real doozy. So these *list every ethnic group and religion that is not white and christian here* walk into a bar and the bartender says GET THE FUCK OUT.

WIN

I kno rite!